The Anxiety of the First Date
The first date is one of the most important events in the relationships of many couples. As important as this occasion is, it is also a very nerve-racking experience to go out with someone you have just met, or just decided to date. Perhaps the fact that this one significant date can potentially become the beginning of a lifelong relationship is why this first date is such an important occurrence. Whatever the reason that the first date is so major, there are many reasons that there is pressure on the first date. The first date is so demanding because it either leads to the occurrence or non-occurrence of the second date. Many people are shy and dating is difficult.
If you have just come out of a serious relationship, there is pressure to get right back into a serious relationship. One of the reasons that the first date is so anxiety filled is that the chances of a second date rest almost solely on what happens on the first date. If the first date is terrible and things go wrong, or the person you have asked out is bored where you take them, or if something is said or done that is offensive, it is difficult to get passed that first bad impression that is left by the first date. Whatever the reason for the date ending in disaster, most of the time, it does not matter whether the problem was intentionally caused or not. They always say that you only have one chance to make a first impression.
This is often true in cases of disastrous first dates. One way you can help prevent this is to plan everything ahead of time. The less that can go wrong that is under your control, the better. Another reason that a first date is so pressure packed is because of shyness. Many people who wish to make a splash in the dating scene are very shy. Some believe that shyness is a self-imposed condition. While this is in part true, many people are painfully shy and this shyness is just as real to them as any other aspect of his or her life. To people like these, dating in general and first dates in particular can be very difficult. If a first date is daunting to people who are not shy, imagine how scary it would be for a shy person. A way that a shy person can help fix this problem is perhaps listen to motivational tapes or get therapy to help him or her with self-esteem.
One other reason that someone might be fearful of a first date is that he or she might have just come out of a serious relationship. If someone is trying to get back into the dating scene after a broken relationship, he or she may feel a certain pressure to find a new partner and begin another serious relationship again. This type of person always needs to be sure that he or she is ready to date again. It may not be the right thing to do to start dating if there is no chance of a new relationship with that person at that point. Plus, if that person moves on to a new relationship without being ready for it, the new relationship may not go well. There are several reasons first dates are nerve-racking. From the fact that there may or may not be a second date, to someone being shy, to an old relationship hanging over one’s head, a first date can have a lot of pressure associated with it. By making changes in your life, you can conquer whatever fears you have associated with the first date.
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