Great Circle

You know that relentless chatter that goes on inside your own head? Like a running commentary on the world around you and your performance in it?

Sometimes I’m aware of it and how it’s affecting me; sometimes I’m in control of it, using it to my advantage; at still other times it seems to run on autopilot affecting my moods and decisions without me intervening.

As we begin each day, we’re talking ourselves into something, whether it’s a mood or a decision. For some it might be either talking themselves into taking a sickday or going to work. For others, ruminating on their back pain unwittingly drags them into a downward spiral of further stress, pain and unhappiness.

And for yet others they spend their day talking themselves into feeling good and behaving in a way that’s actually helpful to them…

“Today I will exceed the expectations of others”

“Today I will take that risk … even if it doesn’t come off, I’ll learn, I’ll grow, I’ll be stronger! Let’s go for it!”

“I’m not lazy, I’ve just been distracted. I’m going to cut off some excess baggage from my life and focus on what’s important”

“I know what I’m doing. I don’t have to get it right. I just have to get it done!”

This is not that shmalzy warm-&-fuzzy hyped-up positive-thinking thinking that many of us distrust and can see right through. This is a naturally occuring process between mind and emotions, between thoughts/actions and the way our body feels and responds. It’s a snowball effect as one of my dear friends - a fitness trainer - calls it.

To use another metaphor, you and I get to set the track that the train of our thoughts will run on for the day.

If I set it on the track of Grace, Self-respect, Adventure, Persistence and Optimism then I can already predict where I’ll be emotionally by the end of the day. I’ll be in a good space. I can’t predict the way the cards will fall, or the people that will willingly or unwittingly get in my way, or what’s going to happen with the Dow today. But if my thoughts are running on that wholesome track, I may well be surprised at how many of the circumstances of my day bend themselves to my advantage … and how others that might otherwise have caused me stress, are like water off that duck’s back …

So. What are you talking yourself into today? What are you talking yourself out of? Try it: set the train of your thoughts running on the Grace/Selfrespect/Empathy/Adventure/Persistence/Optimism track.

And reflect at the end of your day on where that train has lead you…

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Randy Frazee (in his book The Connecting Church) wrote the following:

“Whatever we measure is really our mission“

In other words, you might say that you are committed to being a cheerful parent who makes his/her children feel appreciated and safe in the world. And yet your measurement of how well things are going at your house is all about noise levels (keeping them low) or how high the kids marks are at school compared to your brother’s kids.

Alternatively, you might be a manager or religious leader who quotes your mission statement about “bringing out the full potential in people”. And yet your measurement systems are all about the number of new clients or attenders your staff/congregation brought in this month.

What you are measuring in actual terms will determine the actions you take, the actions you applaud and those you denegrate, the investment of your time and money and emotional energy. You may just be pouring those last three investments into something that doesn’t ultimately make you or others happy/successful…

So. What’s the mission you actually aspire to (rather than the one you default to)? How could you change your measurement systems and indicators to focus the organisation’s attention and efforts toward that mission?

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In January 2004, I injured my back. More accurately, one final injury connected the results of all the previous injuries along with a high degree of emotional stress, and the back decided to lock up for the next two years. Two years of acute and chronic pain with severe restrictions to what I could do. Hey, it wasn’t fun, but gaining your sympathy is not the point of this story!

For much of 2004, I was unemployed. There was a few months there when I wondered if I would ever be employable again.

But I had to do something! Those of you with mortgages will understand what I mean by that. Those of you with children for whom you want to provide a certain quality of life will understand what I mean by that. Those of you who believe your life has purpose and enjoy being a contributor to the world around you … will understand what I mean by that.

So how was I going to earn $$ and have something to offer people again?

Here’s 3 of the tactics that enabled me to win that war by the middle of 2005…

1. Ask “What Can I Do?”

Every time I’d think or hear of an option that my back condition said was impossible, I’d ask that question.

“Ok. so I can’t go back to retail because I can’t carry customer’s parcels to their car or operate the registers which are always below my waist-height. So what can I do?”

Eventually I was left with a list of cans and musts:

• I can train people
• I must be able to move and change position/posture constantly
• I must have a high degree of control over my work enviornment
• Hey, I can run training courses because they fit those three criteria and I have qualifications/experience in that!
• I can coach
• I can speak on the telephone
• So I could train live and phone-coach!

Now I finally had a direction to head in, I could create new options based on that focus…

2. The “Will Do” Approach

You’ve heard of the ‘can-do’ attitude. Well, I realised that many of us also have a will-do attitude and it was only strengthened in me by that season of my life.

One week when the 29th job application landed on deaf ears, I told myself “I will send another” … and that one lead to a contact which eventually lead to a contract 12 months later.

Whenever I saw a job (ad) for which I was unqualified but which looked attractive, I told myself “I will go for that!”  One of these lead to 2 months of fulltime work over summer.

When I took on a 3-day-a-week position over 4 months which required two hours of painful commuting on crowded trains on each one of those 140 days (painful because of my back condition), I told myself each morning “I can do this and I will.” And I did.

I tried new things, I extended myself, I discovered more of what I was capable of, I positioned myself for the next break-through…

I don’t say this out of ego (I haven’t even mentioned the place of prayer in getting me through this time!). This attitude is a normal behaviour for anyone refuses to play the victim.

It does move people out of a rut and out of unemployment/underemployment… even out of a career rut.

3. When You Can’t Get a Job, Start a Business.

And this is what I worked toward. It didn’t have to be complex, it didn’t require a 53 page business plan or $200,000 bank loan.

When none of the jobs I was in and out of between July 04 and July 05 suited my needs or restrictions, it became clearer than ever that not only did I have the makings of a damn fine coaching/development service within me, it was actually the best possible option to pursue health-wise.

I chose from that point to offer my services as a contractor, not an employee. I sought clients, not a boss. Income went up, not down.

Through my local chamber of commerce, I’ve met other solo business owners with a similar story. The new mum who now offers her secretarial services to a range of businesses but does the work at home; the former regional sales manager who (when his wife walked out on him, leaving him with 3 teenage sons still in High School) quit sales and started a mortgage brokerage which got him through the tough time and is now booming as his boys move into their 20s and he has more time for business; the plumber with a bad back who refined the services he offers and now specialises in those jobs…

… These 3 principles or tactics have worked for me. They’ve also helped me coach several jobseekers (among my other clients) back into meaningful employment and lifestyle.

So whatever your battle is at the moment, what can you do, what will you do and what can you create?

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